This was very, very unsettling – particularly when someone wrote me to say: I see your stolen AC unit for sale on Facebook Marketplace! By the end of our time living there, I no longer let the kids play on our front lawn or in outside common areas because of the dynamics. Just before we moved, multiple items were stolen from us (including John’s favourite surfboard and our air conditioner).
FOCALPOINT FRIDGE BEEPING WINDOWS
Then there were the neighbours who would leave their windows open one floor above us and swear-scream at their child. These dynamics were manageable but stressful. At one point a child slept in a closet (how very “New York City” of us). After six months of room-sharing with baby Levi, John and I started moving our mattress to the living room each night for over a year so everyone could have their own sleeping space. We had a neighbour that had a medical exemption to smoke in her apartment, so we had to turn off our air circulation because it dumped the smoke into our living space. The apartment we lived in prior to our current house was a wonderful spot at first, but ended up having some major challenges.
![focalpoint fridge beeping focalpoint fridge beeping](https://www.focalpointfires.co.uk/app/uploads/2018/01/FPFMOB0132-1-630x630.jpg)
It was a bit of a lightning bolt moment as I filtered back through a string of unsettling moments that have punctuated our living environments, many of which I navigated solo with little kids.Īnd I realized: home hasn’t always felt like a safe refuge. I’ve mentioned the underlying stress from renovations/repairs a lot lately, but some cogs clicked in to place this week when I was discussing the seeming irrationality of my overwhelm. Since I spend way too much time in my own head, I’m going to unpack some baggage in this space because a) it helps me to process how past experiences are impacting my current reality and b) sometimes I feel so alone when I see the facade of other’s lives where they seem to be keeping everything together perfectly all the time. There has been so much good this summer, but last night a friend looked me straight in the eyes and said: Elisabeth, you don’t have to pretend you’re enjoying things right now.Īnd I really needed to hear that message. The above is not a fair characterization of my life. I think a “flu” is easier to endure when you don’t have fun plans.
![focalpoint fridge beeping focalpoint fridge beeping](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/4d/79/c8/4d79c8d0e308fe5ae16f49f38e3694d2.jpg)
Which makes the whole situation even worse, because of the built-up anticipation and expectation.
![focalpoint fridge beeping focalpoint fridge beeping](https://www.focalpointfires.co.uk/app/uploads/2018/01/FPFMOB0101.jpg)
I tried to smile and be polite, but really I just wanted to be at home in my pajamas hugging a bucket. In summarizing most of July/early August, I described it recently as feeling like I’ve been planning an evening out at a 3-star Michelin restaurant for months when the big night arrived, I showed up in my fancy dress but with no appetite and a debilitating stomach flu. For someone who loves words, I’m struggling to articulate how this week has unfolded.